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A lovely book for children with two homes

June 19, 2009

My children grew up in two homes – there is no other way to look at it. At first I would have thought there would be something terribly sad about this. But as I share so often in Happily Ever After Divorce: Notes of a Joyful Journey, the dismal situation I expected turned out not to be the case.

There were the usual glitches – a report due tomorrow, accidentally left on the other parent’s computer.  Easily a hundred unmatched socks whose mates must have been at the other house.  (What other explanation could there possibly be?) As I describe in the chapter called “Divorce in the Age of E-Mail,” most of these annoyances disappeared over the years due to technology, laptop computers, the boys’ maturity, and that particular Godsend, the teenage driver’s license. (Yes … really!)

I know now that my sons grew up in two very loving, supportive homes. By agreement between me and their father, their routines at each home were consistent – bed times, curfews, expectations regarding household chores expected of them. 

But what was most important about their two homes was reminded to me in a lovely book that sending-love-300x240came across my desk recently, Sending Love … My “Different-Functional” Family. Written by Utah single mom Lori Hilliard, with photos by her former husband and featuring their very real 5-year-old son Joshua, the book is delightful presentation of a child’s life in two separate homes.  Along with Joshua’s arresting blue eyes (Lori’s exactly), one can’t help noticing a genuinely happy boy who has adjusted well to – and delights in – his two separate homes.

The key is, of course, is the what Joshua tells us about his parents:

“But they both love, love, LOVE me like crazy! (And with all of their hearts!!!!!!!)”

Because isn’t that what it’s really all about for a child?  That, and consistency – knowing what to expect, wherever they are, and with either parent?

All the rest is just real estate.

One Comment leave one →
  1. June 22, 2009 7:54 pm

    I love your review of this book. It is everything you say that it is, and more. I can’t wait for more people to find out about this precious little children’s book with such a loving message.

    I have known Lori Hilliard (the author) for over five years, and can definitely say that I have been amazed as I have watched her turn what began as a very difficult divorce situation into a wonderful, peaceful, and loving arrangement. Her four children are the lucky recipients of unconditional love from both parents–who work together lovingly in the interest of their children.

    Lori’s lives the message of her book in a beautiful way, and I highly recommend this book for anyone (parent or child) who is going through the difficult adjustments of a divorce.
    -Brenda Larsen

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