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“How did you meet Bob?”

January 4, 2010

I had been hoping to find someone tall!

I would say the single most common question I have been asked by divorced women and men in the last few years has been this: “How did you meet your fiancé?” I was asked this question yet again after my recent blog post, I Believe in Second Marriage.

It’s in my book!  There’s a chapter in Happily Ever After Divorce: Notes of a Joyful Journey called “Then Comes Love” in which I recount the somewhat embarrassing story of how I came to meet BobI’m not going to give it away here.  Let me just say that anyone who is ready to find a loving partner could do worse than to follow my example.

I should also point out that prior to the story of my first meeting with Bob is an important chapter called “Opening My Heart.”  There I tell how it occurred to me, even though I was actively dating, I seemed to be spinning my wheels, unable to meet someone in whom I was the slightest bit interested romantically:

The simple explanation was that I was enjoying my unattached state immensely. The dark days of the divorce were behind me, and my life felt very full and, for the first time in years, peaceful. It still seemed a daily miracle to wake up each day to fresh air instead of the dank smell of a dying relationship …

… After rebuilding this rich, new life after my divorce, I felt that little, if anything, was missing. I occasionally worried that I was becoming too independent. How would I ever be able to give up this delightful freedom to live according to my own schedule? Would I even be able to cater to a man’s needs or listen to his problems?

Then the day came when I learned to open my heart. You’ll have to read about it in the book.

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